Why adults have affairs?
Speak about a loaded issue that no one wants to speak about, that’s it. Funny thing, married dating have been going on ever since old ages. Extramarital affairs can be loaded with troubles, cause misery, and other problems. Also you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness matter, money, age dissimilarity, religious education, shame, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I should classify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating married women.
Why do men have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are seek an extramarital affair. I am conserned generally though it is just the human nature, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Physically we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and exciting, and sex makes us get away the real world for a small period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people are able to switch the longing on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos the world has erected against affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will beat their doubts and make them risk the fury of not only their relatives, but the public also. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is extremely pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not wound your spouse or anyone else? You will need to reduce the risk you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is advantageous to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major cluster, colossal in fact. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, apart from they feel comfortable in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to consider. Your assets are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them completing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An extra-marital affair sometimes solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Avoidance, sorrowfully this is a regular groung I fear. One or the other, usually the man is sexually neglecting his lady for a large humber of reasons. As a man I truly am thankful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them obtainable to us guys of romance, making them “milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, could be compassion is vanished, could be it is the closeness, could be neglect. Could be we have just developed distantly, our ordinary interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposed to of what you want. Maybe I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for financial gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.